英语笑话

某同学去三亚开会，陶醉三亚美景，开完会准备登机返程前，给老婆发条短信： I’ve had a really wonderful night, and I wish so much you were here. 结果，最后的一个“e”给漏掉了。。。

最后一个"曹操"是亮点，不懂英文的估计看不懂。 ;-) 张飞 Open Fly； 关羽 Close Feather； 关平 Even Close； 孔明 Bright Hole； 孔

最后一个是亮点，不懂英文的估计看不懂。 ;-) 李莫愁 Don’t Worry Lee ； 李寻欢 Be Happy Lee ； 常遇春 Always Meet Spring ； 杨不悔 No Regrets Young ； 杨逍 Happy Young ； 范遥 Far Fan ； 王重阳 Double Sun King ； 金轮法王 Golden

Two friends were talking about work, when one asked, “Say, why did the foreman fire you? " Replied the second, “Well, you know how a foreman is always standing around and watch others work. My foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman.”

A cat and her four kittens ran into a large dog. When the kittens cowered, the cat let out a series of loud barks, scaring the dog away. Turning to her kittens, the cat said, “You see how important it is to know a second language.”

An American teacher asked one of her pupils, “What’s the nation’s capital?” The reply was “Washington DC” On being asked what the “DC” stood for, the pupils all answered： “Dot com!”

A boy says to her mother, Mom, is God a man or woman? The mom thinks a while and says, Well, son, God is both man and woman. The son is confused, so he asks, Is God black or white? The mother replies, God is both black and white, honey. The son, still curious, says after a while, Is God gay or straight, mommy? The mother, getting a little worried, answers, Son, God is both gay and straight.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the run from the law when they find an old barn to hide out in. The police are close on their tails, so when the women find three sacks, they immediately jump into them. About a minute later, a policeman comes into the barn and sees the suspicious-looking sacks. He kicks the first one. “Meow,” says the redhead. “ It must be a cat,” thinks the policeman and he kicks the second sack.

Question: Ms America, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms America: Well, I can say that male organs in America are like gentlemen. Question: How can you say so? Ms America: Because it stands every time it sees a woman…….. Question: Ms Spain, how do you describe a male organ in your country? Ms Spain: Male organs in our country are like our very own Bullfight or Toro(Bull) Question: How can you say so?

During the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but could not hit his opponent. “How am I doing?” he asked the coach at the end of the round. “Well, if you keep this up,” replied the coach, “he might feel the wind and catch a cold.”